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Funny Peculiar Stories

These stories are of the funny peculiar rather than the funny ha-ha variety. There are certainly lots of peculiar people in this world.

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On June 12 the dead man was raging round the neighbour-hood searching for his wife and breathing threats against her. - Islington Gazette

Sir, - How carefully do people read? The question arises out of a recent experience here. Not until a copy of a novel of high literary merit had reached its thirteenth reader was it noticed that a whole section of the book had been erroneously inserted and was, indeed, part of an entirely different book. It is all the more surprising in that, at the point where the wrong insertion is made, the last page of the correct book ended half-way through a sentence, and the first page of the wrong book began a new chapter. The characters and setting were also entirely different. Yours faithfully, C. R. Edcely, Manager, The Times Book Company Ltd, Wigmore St, WI - The Times

A note thrown from a train yesterday landed on Bushbury Station, Wolverhampton. It read: `Mr Russell, of 32 Vale Road, Bloxwich, Staffordshire, has left the kettle on the stove. Please inform the police.' Railway officials passed on the message Police alerted the fire brigade, and a patrol car went to the house The kettle WAS on the stove. But the gas had not been lit. - Daily Express

While I do his homework my schoolboy son does my pools. I have made some frightful blunders in his arithmetic - but he has done me proud in dividends this season. - Letter in Daily Mirror

Lincolnshire police still maintained close secrecy yesterday about what was written on papers found in the stomach of a pig at a butcher's shop in Spalding. They were in Hungarian and have been translated. - News Chronicle

To prevent bedtime from becoming monotonous my husband gets into bed at the right side on Mondays and Tuesdays, the left side on Wednesdays and Thursdays, and climbs the footboard Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. - Letter in Reveille, quoted in New Statesman

A joker in Kentucky mailed packages of transistor radios with the volume turned on full blast. Postmen have already delivered seven packages, all properly stamped and addressed, with musical accompaniment. - Daily Express

Mr J. D. Montgomery, defending, asked the Colonel: `You consider an assault by six sausages a serious matter? I should not have thought anybody was afraid of a cold sausage, especially a retired colonel.' Colonel B-: `I am not afraid of my son-in-law or six cold sausages, but it was in fact seven cold sausages.' - Daily Mirror, quoted in New Statesman's This England column

NOTICE - This Friday and Saturday, contrary to popular opinion, is not Monday and Tuesday, respectively, but will follow Thursday as Friday and Saturday. The first Monday and Tuesday of this term were omitted from the schedule since the first week of last term was omitted and made up through the term. Monday through Friday were made up this way but Wednesday and Saturday were left out to make room for Tuesday and Thursday. Therefore Monday and Tuesday, from the beginning of the term, will be left off and not Friday and Saturday. - Notice in Technical College

Sir, - An article in today's issue discusses how to send a message from an express train. Faced with the same problem on the same line, I consulted the steward in charge of the dining car. He provided me with pencil and paper, made an incision in a large potato, and himself lobbed the potato to the feet of a porter as we ran through Peterborough, with my message wedged in it but clearly visible. The stationmaster did what was necessary. The steward would not take anything: he was glad to be of service. Yours faithfully, H. C. B. MYNORS Sutton Green, Guildford. - The Times

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Here is a randomly selected story

There was a good number present at the S- Bible class on Monday and a keen discussion took place on the subject `Are there stages in Sin?' On Monday night a practical class was held. - Welsh paper

If you want to read more stories like this, you will find them in the Newspaper Misprints and Misquotes category.