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Funny Peculiar Stories - 3

This is page 3 of funny peculiar stories.

Golfer Arthur Salt yesterday saw a fox dash on to the 14th green at Sundridge Park, Bromley, seize his ball in its mouth, and disappear into the shrubbery. Mr Salt counted it an `act of God', and put down a new ball without loss of stroke. - Sunday paper

WANTED, a temporary husband. A young girl of twenty-two years of age, attractive, must marry within a week. Will pay any man who marries her well, but he must leave after the ceremony. Prefer gentleman of good breeding, but one who does not expect to live longer than a week. - Advert, in Irish paper

A 67-year-old retired labourer, John Whiting, went to Durham Magistrates' Court yesterday to testify he was alive. `Are you dead?' he was asked. `I am not,' Mr Whiting replied. - Daily Mail

Traveller with sound connexion wanted for bathing, swim' and beach suits. State area covered. - Advert. in Sussex paper

For months 80-year-old Bert Williams had promised himself the first drink at a new club being built near his home at Doncaster. But a few weeks before the club was opened he died. Today his widow, Mrs Edith Williams, will take a pint of beer in a lemonade bottle - the first drawn at the club - to where her husband is buried. She plans to pour it over his grave - to fulfil Bert's promise. - News Chronicle, quoted in New Statesman

A member of the Town Council states that some of the teachers have taught the children that it is contrary to the laws of science that when Moses struck the rock water could have been swallowed by a whale because he could not have passed down its throat. - South Wales paper

Regarding matter of escaping penalty for non-delivery of the Bar Machine there is only a way to creep round same by diplomat and we must make a statement of strike occur our factory (of course big untrue). Please address my firm on enclosed form of letter and believe this will avoid penalty of case. As Mr B. is more religious and competent man and also heavily upright and dogly it fears me that useless apply for his signature. Please attach same by Yokohama Office making forge but no cause for fear of prison happening as this is often operated by other merchants of highest integrity. It is highest unfortunate Mr B. so godlike and excessive awkward for business purpose. I think much better add little serpentlike wisdom to upright manhood and thus found a good business edifice. Letter received by a London firm from an oriental correspondent

Sir, - Shortly before the war, my partner in some tennis tournaments in the Isle of Man was Eric Peel. When we won a game, the umpire announced `Game to Orange and Peel'. We found the greatest difficulty in persuading our opponents that our names were not pseudonyms, and overheard several amusing rumours as to our real identity. R. B. Orange, Watford Sunday Times

SCHOONER `SULTANA' TOWED BY A WHALE On December 16 1874, while schooner Sultana, Capt. Peterson, of this port, was at anchor on Grand Bank, there was a sudden motion felt by those on board the vessel, and it was evident that the craft was being carried through the water by some unseen and unknown motive power. Looking forward, it was observed that the cable was drawn taut, and that some `monster of the deep' was attached thereto, and drawing the vessel along at the rate of twelve knots an hour. Soon they obtained positive evidence, as a mammoth whale came to the surface to blow, having the anchor of the vessel either hooked into his jaw or blow-hole. There was also another whale which swam near, evidently greatly astonished at the predicament of his companion. The men on board of the dories, which had just returned from visiting their trawls, had barely time to make fast their painter ere the vessel started. Another dory, with two men, was at some distance, also visiting their trawls. The captain stood ready with axe in hand, in case of emergency, and allowed the whale to tow them some distance; but not wishing to lose sight of the men in the dory, was obliged to cut the cable - otherwise he might have succeeded in capturing the whale. Whether or not his whaleship succeeded in getting rid of the anchor and tow-line is not known, as no account has yet come to hand of his being fallen in with. It was rather a novel method of being towed. - Robb's Cabinet of Curiosities

Tea Room Attendant (female) required. Knowledge of first: aid essential. - Northern Daily Mail

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Voluntary Workers Strike For Higher Pay

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