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Vacation Jokes

Sometimes when you go on vacation, it seems that the weather is playing a joke on you. The weather is always good until the moment that your vacation starts and then it turns nasty.
Its time to dig out some of the jokes about holiday landladies.

A man arrived at his holiday guest-house and met the landlady.
'Can you sing?' she snapped.
'No,' he replied.
'Well, you'd better learn quickly. There's no lock on the bathroom door.'

A holidaymaker was complaining to his landlady about his room. 'Look. This wall's so thin you can almost see through it.'
'That's not a wall,' she replied, 'it's the window.'

'Excuse me,' said the guest, 'but this steak is so tough I can't even cut it. Take it away and bring me another.'
'I can't take it away,' said the landlady. 'You've bent it.'

Went on vacation last week. What a week it was. Only rained twice - once for three days, once for four.

There are always fortune-tellers at the seaside. Two of them met on the front at Frinton one sunny summer day. 'Lovely weather,' said the first fortune-teller. 'Yes,' said the second. 'It reminds me of the summer of 2005.'

Here is a randomly selected joke

The emperor Nero called in his entertainments manager. He said, 'Nutticus, you've done very well. You've got me some very tasty looking Christians and some very hungry looking lions. Well done.
Nutticus said, 'Thank you your majesty.'
Nero said, 'There's just one problem however.
Nutticus said, 'What's that?'
Nero said, 'How are you going to stop the hooligans running onto the pitch?'

You can find more jokes like this in the Miscellaneous Jokes category.