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Jokes For Children - 12

This is page 12 of jokes for children.

Hear about the famous inventors who failed to invent the aeroplane? They were the Wrong Brothers.

Hear about the polar bear who tried to eat a penguin? He couldn't get the wrapper off.

'Do you know what they said the night the Forth Bridge fell down?'
'No, what did they say the night the Forth Bridge fell down?'
'That's a pity. We'll have to build a fifth!'

My mum got on this speaking weighing machine. She said, 'Right, what do l weigh?'
The weighing machine said, 'One at a time please!'

My dad went down the churchyard. He said to the vicar, 'Would you like me to put some locks on the cemetery gates?'
The vicar said, 'There's no point. The ghosts have all got skeleton keys.'

There were These two elephants arguing over who should go in the swimming pool first. I said, 'Why don't you both go in at the same time?'
They said, 'We can't. We've only got one pair of trunks between us.'

My uncle said, 'The RSPCA are going to closedown my fish and chip shop.'
I said, 'Why's that?'
He said, 'They think I'm battering the fish.'

Did you hear about the steamroller driver who ran over a biscuit? He said, 'Crumbs.'

My sister came running in from the kitchen. She said, 'Dad, there's a black cat out there.'
My dad said, 'So what? Black cats are lucky.'
My sister said, 'This one is. It's just eaten your lunch.'

My uncle said to me, 'Ants have got amazing brains.'
I said, 'Have they?'
He said, 'Yes. Have you noticed how they always know when you're having a picnic.'

Here is a randomly selected joke

Did you hear about the man who wouldn't wash until he became a millionaire? He's now filthy rich.

You can find more jokes like this in the Jokes For Children category.