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Jokes For Children - 11

This is page 11 of jokes for children.

Did you hear about the prisoner who talked very slowly?
He took twentyfive years to finish a sentence.

What did they say to Julius Caesar When he went into a pub? 'Ale, Caesar?'

Did you hear what happened when the ghosts went on strike? A skeleton staff took over.

My brother said, 'l've brought you home a present. It's a wombat.'
I said, 'What's a wombat for?'
He said, 'A good game of wom.'

My brother said, 'Did you hear about the sunburnt shark?'
I said, 'No, what happened to him?'
My brother said, 'He got what he was basking for.'

My brother said, 'One of my mates got run over by a car.'
I said, 'Really, how did he feel?'
My brother said, 'Tyred.'

My brother's trousers were split right down the back. He said, 'Mum says they're my Van Winkle trousers.'
I said, 'What does she mean by that?'
He said, 'They've got a Rip in them.'

I went home the other day and I heard' my dad screaming. I said, 'What's wrong?'
He said, 'Your mother was pressing my trousers.'
I said, 'My mother was pressing your trousers and you screamed?'
He said, 'Yes, I was still in them.'

My uncle said, 'How do you make a poisonous snake cry?'
I said, 'I don't know. How do you make a poisonous snake cry?'
He said, 'Take away his rattle.'

Hear about the pilot who bailed out? He said, 'Bi-plane.'

Here is a randomly selected joke

Did you hear about the farmer who made his chickens drink boiling water?
He thought they would lay hard-boliled eggs.

You can find more jokes like this in the Did You Hear - Jokes category.