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Jokes About Restaurants and Food

With their eccentric waiters and often inedible food, restaurants have always been a good source of jokes and humor. This is page 1 of 3

"Waiter, waiter. I don't like the flies in here."
Well come back tomorrow, we'll have new ones by then."

Waiter, waiter, there's a small fly in my soup.
I'm sorry, sir. Shall I get you a bigger one?

Waiter, waiter, this food is terrible. Bring me the manager.
I'm sorry, sir. He won't eat it either.

Waiter, waiter, you're not fit to serve a pig.
I'm trying my best, sir.

How did you find your steak, sir?
I just turned over a chip and there it was.

Waiter, waiter, do they change the tablecloths in thls restaurant?
I don't know, sir. I've only been here a year.

Waiter, waiter; what's on the menu tonight?
I'm not sure, sir, but it looks like last night's special

Waiter, waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup.
Yes, sir, it's the hot water that kills them.

Waiter, waiter, have you smoked salmon?
No, sir but I have smoked a pipe.

Waiter, waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?
The breast stroke, sir.

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Here is a randomly selected joke

"You are a cheat," shouted the attorney to his opponent. "And you're a liar," bellowed the opposition. Banging his gavel sharply, his Honour interrupted: "All right, now that both barristers have been identified, let's get on with this case."

You can find more jokes like this in the Jokes about Lawyers category.