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Jokes About Restaurants and Food

With their eccentric waiters and often inedible food, restaurants have always been a good source of jokes and humor. This is page 1 of 3

"Waiter, waiter. I don't like the flies in here."
Well come back tomorrow, we'll have new ones by then."

Waiter, waiter, there's a small fly in my soup.
I'm sorry, sir. Shall I get you a bigger one?

Waiter, waiter, this food is terrible. Bring me the manager.
I'm sorry, sir. He won't eat it either.

Waiter, waiter, you're not fit to serve a pig.
I'm trying my best, sir.

How did you find your steak, sir?
I just turned over a chip and there it was.

Waiter, waiter, do they change the tablecloths in thls restaurant?
I don't know, sir. I've only been here a year.

Waiter, waiter; what's on the menu tonight?
I'm not sure, sir, but it looks like last night's special

Waiter, waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup.
Yes, sir, it's the hot water that kills them.

Waiter, waiter, have you smoked salmon?
No, sir but I have smoked a pipe.

Waiter, waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?
The breast stroke, sir.

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Here is a randomly selected joke

My brother went to the doctor. He said, 'Doctor, I am obsessed with the idea that I am John McEnroe playing at Wimbledon.'
The doctor said, 'Way out man.
My brother said, You can't be serious...'

You can find more jokes like this in the Jokes About Sports category.