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Jokes About Men

A selection of jokes about men.

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Men are like noodles - they're always in hot water, they lack taste and they need dough.

What's the greatest mystery about men?
How they can get older but still manage to remain immature.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish and you get rid of him at weekends.

Why do most men lead a dog's life?
It's a very similar existence. They both come in with muddy feet, make themselves comfortable by the fire and wait to be fed.

All men are idiots....I married their king.

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.

Men are like.....Blenders.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like.....Coolers.
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like.....High heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like.....Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

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Here is a randomly selected joke

There was my uncle threshing around in the sea, drowning, and this woman went by. My uncle shouted to her. 'I can't swim, I can't swim.'
She said, 'So what? I can't play the violin but I don't go shouting about it.'

You can find more jokes like this in the Miscellaneous Jokes category.